Candy is Dandy ...

First, the thing I'm proud of. Tonight I learned how to uncap a beer bottle using only my wits and the metal gap in the door frame. My hotel boasts all the finest in business amenities: dishes, full-size refrigerator, stove-top, pans, and utensils. However, and this is a big however, the can opener does not include the bottle opener metal hook. After bringing back a six-pack of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat and a six-pack of Ipswich Original Ale, I discovered my inability to crack the mystery of the capped bottle. I attempted, vainly, to pop the cap off with the edge of the counter and a severe downward hand motion ... I thought to dissemble the can opener and use the rubber covered legs as a fulcrum ... I considered gnashing my teeth against the lip, but I've got a dentist appointment next week, and I didn't want to disappoint my hygienist.

After the class, we all went to an Italian restaurant. I had a pizza, a couple "Blue Moon" beers with a slice of lemon each, a slice of chocolate cake with a shot of Bailey's poured on top ... we sat outside, under the trees, on a wooden patio, the occasional tiki torch threatening imminent hair destruction ... At some point the waitress lit candles. The place was packed, everywhere here is packed. We passed around photos of our pets. And then we told jokes that mostly started with, "A pirate walked into a bar ..."

For some reason, I'm watching "Thelma and Louise." I think it's because I don't get a lot of channels and the remote doesn't work. Is lazy a good excuse?

Ha. Now there's a Latter-Day Saint's Ad on the tele. Jesus is on a boat in the middle of a large lake and the announcer tells me to embrace faith and order their video. Buy. By. Bye.