Shampoo Commercial Dreams

We've had mostly beautiful weather lately. It makes me want to abandon this chair and run to the beach, hair streaming, arms spread wide to embrace each happiness molecule, sand in my toenails, and a song on my lips. I want to free the camera from its bonds and go on safari. I want to see rolling hills of grapes and stakes, and picnic. Or drive, top down, baseball cap and a ponytail, along the coast, seeking better shops and shores.

But, you know the drill. I was weak, didn't write. I read Jim Thompson's "The Killer Inside Me." I played video games on Tuesday. I slept early, mindful that I was cheating myself.

I read on CNN that Congress may extend daylight-saving time. It's such a stupid tradition. Oh gee, electricity is too expensive, let's participate in a mass delusion encouraged and orchestrated by the federal government instead of finding cheaper and more efficient energy alternatives! Sure, that sounds fine! Besides, the electric companies can recoup their daylight savings time losses with air-conditioning costs in summer! Everybody wins.

The attack cats are in rare form this morning. I've had to separate them. Chiana discovered my electric toothbrush last week. I caught her chewing the end, so I hid it in the medicine cabinet. Then I got the bright idea to cover it with one of those plastic covers. I came home from work and the toothbrush was on its side, the cover gone. We still haven't found it. It's probably under the refrigerator with the rest of her prizes. Today Vash and Chiana have been playing gladiator tag. It involves pouncing, kicking, running, tearing across every surface, attacking, hissing, crying, then seeing me approach with the spray bottle and pretending nothing's wrong. There's nothing quite like the shrill sound of a kitten crying when you're trying to write a play about torture.

If it weren't for "The Garden State Soundtrack," I'd be sitting in the living room, blindly changing channels, thinking about how much I suck. At least now I get to sit in this comfortable chair and think about how much I suck.