My turkey is in a downtown freezer: Not a euphemism

Originally our Thanksgiving cup ranneth over. We were invited to two parties and I had a smoked turkey flying in from Texas, just in case. It seemed there would be no danger of a feastless day.

Snow changed all that.

It's true we turned down one invitation and accepted the other, thereby slicing our options a third. But it was the snow, the pure white powder that drifts gently from the sky, that's done us in.

As far as I know, the party goes on, up at the top of a steep hill along many icy roads. You haven't happened to see any of the youtube videos of cars sliding out of control around here, have you? The careening bus was a sight to behold... I may be a chicken on this turkey day, but I don't want that to be me. I lose my health insurance soon.

And the smoked Texas turkey? Poor bird. UPS won't deliver to my house without a signature since that package disappeared in October -- the package they say they delivered while my husband was home. So in a flash of premeditated brilliance I arranged to send the bird to my work address. Which I can't get to.

The freeway onramp closest to home featured four jacknifed semis the morning after the first snow dump, closing I-5 for 9 hours and rerouting traffic through the express lanes.

I do try to look on the bright side. So here goes: The snow is pretty and rare. I haven't run out of coffee and Baileys yet. I'm defrosting a couple of chicken breasts so we'll have some kind of poultry today. Cats and husband are here and safe. I remembered to bring in the rosemary plant before it was festively frozen. The power is still on.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!