I managed to work the word "deviate" into a definition I wrote today. It made me laugh because in WoW I've been selling Savory Deviate Delights and it seemed to me that for a brief and lovely moment, the worlds converged.

When you eat a Savory Deviate Delight, you turn into other things, like a ninja or a pirate. Then you can dance on mailboxes and say "Arrrggghhh!" a lot.

I'm nervous about meeting with the trainer on Saturday. There's a sheet they asked me to fill out that has questions on it like, "Do you enjoy eating?" "Do you become irritable when you're hungry?" "Do sweets taste too sweet to you?" And I'm so tempted to lie and fill in my profile as a stunted bald 57 year old coal miner female with severe food allergies, a tail, and a heart murmur. I wonder what sort of personalized fitness and nutrition regimen that'd get me. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

I'm afraid that these hours will amount to nothing and I'll be left sweating and panting while the trainer barks at me to MOVE MOVE MOVE as I try not to fall off the treadmill. And there will be pain. And possible offenses to my modesty. But that's another story for another day.