What I really mean is, she's a pre-Jeremy, Santa Barbara, friend, which are few and far between (with a sense of humor like mine, I can't imagine why). It takes real effort to be friends with me, so she should win some kind of award. Something better than "gets to sleep in my guest room."
The best I can do is spruce the place up a bit. So today is all about the vacuum and the cleanser. I've already mowed the lawn and replaced the burned out lightbulb in the driveway, washed the linens, and vacuumed the stairs... um, and recycled a bunch of junk mail. Phew, it's exhausting just listing it out.
I suck at this.
But! Oh! I could get her drunk right away and then she won't notice the cat hair tumbleweeds. That is usually my plan for houseguests. Welcome to my house! Have a cocktail!
They think I am being hospitable. I am really just trying to hide the burn marks on the ceiling.
Although... Since she's probably reading this right now, my plan is already blown. Darn.
Next time, old friend.