And then there's taxes. Due to exercising a few stock options given to me by my previous employer, I owe a veritable buttload of money to the government. On the one hand, the stock sale paid for our move to dear Seattle. On the other, well, ouch. I could buy a used car with that kind of money, or get orthodontic surgery, if I needed orthodontic surgery. Or even go for LASIK, round two. I'm sure my eyes wouldn't mind some frivolous cosmetic enhancements. Hey, anything for free Valium!

Actually I was disappointed in the Valium. I expected more.

Speaking of LASIK, the best part came at the end when they led me to a dark room and sat me down in a comfy recliner. The nurse or assistant person draped a blanket over my legs, turned on classical music and instructed me to sit quietly. It was pleasant. Minutes later the nurse returned, and my recliner time was at an end. They needed the chair for another body since it only takes five minutes per eye... Jer led me to the car, my eyes clenched tight, and I spent the remainder of the day resting and listening to Lenny Bruce on CD. Good times.

The worst part was when they clamped my eyelids back into my head and I could feel the doctor (skip if you're squeamish) swab the cover of my cornea back into place. It's a bizarre sensation to see the world through a haze and then see it all go dark for a second even though you know your eyes are open.

But hey, Valium, right?