there are bigger issues than me

but since it's so close it takes precedence

i swallow

i go to sleep

and my dreams poke until at 3am

i stumble to the sink for a glass of water

dark and quiet not even the cats are awake

i plug my phone into the wall and go back to bed

where the pillow jabs me in the spine

and i stare at the ceiling until

the sun shines

or the bus comes

whichever is first

and the first thing i think is

fuck