Sunday, April 05, 2009

priority trouble

I'm not sure what to do with myself. I recognize that due to all of the long workdays and the six months of shaping myself into a new role, I've stopped taking care of me. I've replaced caffeinated drinks with water. I don't exercise. My food choices are not usually healthy, but reward-driven. I don't write.

There are little things I can do immediately if I cared. I could wake up a few minutes earlier and toast a slice of bread for breakfast, with a little peanut butter. I know that fills me up enough to not be tempted by Starbucks breakfast sandwiches. But the thing is, I can't bring myself to care. In this case, I'd rather sleep three minutes.

I think I keep waiting to hit my health rock bottom. Stupid. I know this.

I've been not so subtly nagging Jer again to request his schedule get changed to days. But then his company just had layoffs last week -- he is fine -- but it is not the time to be insisting on shift requests. I get that, so I'm going to have to let it go. I mention this because I've always wanted him to go to the gym with me, and if he worked days we could go after work together. Also I could cook meals for the both of us, healthy meals, instead of this bachelor-eating-over-the-sink crap. But that's out.

In two weeks and one day the crazy annual deadline I am subjected to will pass, and (hopefully) the vein bulging in my forehead will recede. Then I will remember to drink the right fluids and eat my toast and I'll be able to think about other things.


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