I'm not sure why I'm not more affected. Of course it would have been nice to have been accepted on my first try, but between this rejection and being waitlisted for Clarion UCSD, I'm pretty fortunate to have experienced 2 of the 3 possible outcomes in one go.
This morning I feel remarkably free. For the last month I've been checking email constantly. I've been reading all the instructor's books and taking notes. My own writing has suffered because I've been so preoccupied with running the what-if? scenarios.
Obsess much? Heh.
I'm reminded of what's important here and my end goal is to get my stories published in professional markets. Clarion would have been a helpful shortcut to building a community, but you know I actually already have a community, both in Seattle and online. I've gone from no publications a year ago to being paid for my work. I've spent the last year participating in critique groups that used the Clarion method, so I already have that experience...Sometimes I even hear my critiquers' voices in my head when I revise. (That's not crazy at all, right?)
Of course if either Clarion called me up right now and said we changed our minds, would you still like to come -- I'd say yes, yes, a thousand times yes! :)
Because I'm not fickle at all.
Congratulations to the Clarion class of 2012. I look forward to reading your work.