What I Did On My Summer Vacation …

These things start well and then taper off, so here be warned …

Wednesday, May 5:

Woke at 4:30am, left at 6am. Stopped a few times for bathroom breaks. Took the 5 to the 99 to the 41. Arrived about 12:30pm and 320 miles later.

We stayed in a timeshare - a townhouse with 2 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bath, fully equipped kitchen, washer/dryer, additional Murphy bed, and fireplace which turned on by flipping a switch. The kitchen had everything - blender, dishwasher, utensils, can opener, basic spices, oven, stove, pots and pans, tea pot, coffee pot, just everything. I felt like a rube saying things like, "Crap, we've got Tupperware!" or "Hold the phone, there's a hand mixer!"

After dropping off our bags and saying hello to BF's parents, we all went and had cheeseburgers at The Forks Resort, overlooking Bass Lake.

Then we drove a little and walked through town and went in the shops for tourists, which were mostly closed since the Season doesn't begin for another few weeks. I fell in love with a tea candle which smelled like coffee with hazelnut and spent the rest of the trip with it close to my nose. The candle is like crack to me.

We went on a short hike out to Willow Cove. I took many pictures - to be linked shortly - and saw lots of beer cans. There's a rumor that the Hell's Angels used (and may still use) this cove for their annual gatherings. Regardless (or irregardless if you're not a fan of spelling words correctly) we did see two bare-chested, Jell-O bellied men tossing back lukewarm cans of Bud Light at the lake's edge. Coincidence?

Somewhere in here was a trip to Vons for more cookies, and coffee drinks from Starbucks.

Back at the timeshare we watched, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and then I went swimming. I love to swim even though after I always want to claw my eyes out of their sockets for the burning. I also hate stepping out of the pool and rediscovering gravity. It's such a joy to be weightless. I dried off and we watched, A Mighty Wind. If Eugene Levy was the star of the weekend, then Fred Willard's "Wha' happened?" was the catch phrase.

Thursday, May 6:

Donuts for breakfast. Left the timeshare at 8am for Yosemite, which is about 45 minutes from Bass Lake.

First stop, the Mariposa Grove to see the giant sequoias. When we got there about nine, the place was damn near empty. We had it all to ourselves. Mostly this was because it's off season, but also because it was before ten.

In Yosemite valley BF's Dad parked his car in the day lot, and we walked to Yosemite Village and bought several sodas and candy bars. Finding that junk food didn't ease our hunger, we hopped a shuttle bus to Curry Village and ate pizza (which opened at noon, I'm skipping some souvenir shopping.)

I led the group to Happy Isles, a nice easy walk down a level path. The water was at a higher level than when I saw it last year. More pictures were snapped and then we decided to hop a log and get a closer look at the fork in the river. A very nice fork. No injuries except for splinters.

The shuttle bus ride to Lower Yosemite Falls was long and smelly. Two stops after we got on, a group of noisy, irritating school girls embarked. They spoke at a level dogs could hear and talked of, um, like, did you see that movie Ghost Ship? Yeah, like it was so scary, I felt so bad for the little girl. Like, ohmigod! At least nobody was farting near my head, as was the experience of other members of our party. Now that's just rank.

The Falls came and went and we walked back to the car. Drove out of the park, and back to the timeshare. I went swimming. We watched, Catch Me If You Can and Survivor.

I hate that Boston Rob.

Friday, May 7:

I cooked breakfast. Eggs, cheese, chili, and sour cream.

BF's Dad rented a motor boat and the three of us - him, BF, and me - went out on Bass Lake for a couple hours. He drove. I dangled my feet in the water. And we're pretty sure we saw a bear. Or at least heard it. Or maybe it was a weed whacker.

Everybody got sun burned. I wore my new REI jacket and it was perfect. Picture taking commenced.

Since it was ice cream weather, we picked up BF's Mom and we went to Vons and each ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Then we tried to go shopping but it just didn't work out.

Next up: I didn't go swimming. Instead BF and I checked out a basketball from the Front Desk and made fools of ourselves, or maybe I only speak for me. Let's just say, I managed to throw the basketball in the pool twice, and the pool wasn't exactly close to the court.

Then I kicked ass at pool. The one with the balls and the sticks, not with the wet. Now pool, that's a game I can get behind.

So then we watched Bringing Down the House, which was both funny and painful as expected. I fell asleep to What Not To Wear, the one with the woman with really long hair who used to be a beauty queen. Nightmares happened. And for dinner we went back to the Forks. And I bought a couple postcards which I probably won't send to my mother and sister like I should.

Saturday, May 8:

I fell down the stairs. Ripped open my leg and bloodied up my big toe on the right foot. Could've been worse. At least I didn't break anything and it looks cool. I'd been lugging stuff to the car when I slipped down the remaining steps. Me make big noise. Go boom.

Left the timeshare at 8:45am, arrived in Tehachapi about 12:30pm, for lunch with BF's grandmother. We ate at a Mexican restaurant, very good, but too much. Full to bursting.

Assorted stops besides, we arrived back home about 7pm, making it the longest day ever.

The end.