Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Hot Off the Bulls' Testicles

The last entry could've easily been titled: Five Beers and Counting. But that's not important right now. What is important is that I enjoyed my Saturday night.

We spoke of human destination in a perfect world
Derived the nature of the universe (found it unfulfilled)
- The Devil in the Wishing Well, Five For Fighting

I've become addicted to Red Bull. It's the perfect gateway drug. Late last night I found myself wandering the cheery, non-habit-forming aisles of a major supermarket chain, examining assorted energy drinks and weeping into my basket. I'll have to become a Red Bull pusher for the kickbacks, drive around in the Red Bull car, and wear Red Bull polo shirts. That's me on the corner, under the streetlight, hawking the marvels of Taurine, Pantothenic Acid, and the super awesome restorative power of Vitamin B6.

Okay seriously now. I just dropped by the Red Bull website for "research" and found the following on their FAQ page:

Is taurine made from bulls' testicles? Is taurine a derivative of bulls' testicles or semen?

Taurine is a purely synthetic substance produced by pharmaceutical companies and is not derived from animals or animal materials.
-from Red Bull FAQ

How'd this rumor get started? What's the basis for comparison? Not taste I hope. Did a mistaken somebody read Taurus + Urine = Taurine? But still, even then, semen and urine? Not related. Totally different bodily fluids. I remember that much from biology.

Pure comedy gold.

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