The Ass Crack of Wit

I'm at the halfway point of my week's page target (six of twelve, as opposed to seven of nine). I'm not going to tell you the title yet, because it's so clever you'd want to steal it.

I bought a ticket to see the play, "Enchanted April." I snagged a seat in the fourth row center cuz I got mad fone skillz. It's called politeness, yo.

I'm wary because the subject matter sounds very girlie. Hardly any killing or maiming at all. Just two British broads sipping tea in Italy... I expect it to be smashing as long as I'm smashed.

The optometrist tells me that as a result of LASIK, the left eye is perfect, and the right is mostly perfect. The right still has a tiny astigmatism, but that could be because of the dry weather. My corneas are subject to the whims of humidity; I'm human same as you. Same as you!

Don't forget to wear green tomorrow or the bogeyman will eat your soul.