Thursday, March 24, 2005

The Mystery Check

Stupid fookin' university. I just opened a piece of junk mail that had been sitting on my desk and found a $500 check. Always suspicious of unexpected checks, I did some research. My old employer is cleaning house. They say that if you've got less than a certain amount in your retirement fund, then they distribute it right on back to you minus taxes... Only, I've got more than that amount in my fund AND I made it a point to meet with a benefits administrator before I left my job to make sure this wouldn't happen. So now the government has taken its chunk out of my money, when all I needed to do was roll it over from one stupid freaking fidelity account to another (I'm guessing that's what I should have done anyway. The benefits guy told me I was all set the way it was though) All university documentation (and I did look) says you need at least $2000 in your 403B to keep your money there, and I meet that requirement. So what the fuck is this check doing in my hands for the defined contribution plan??? Are they going to send me a check for the rest of it? Or does the rest of it somehow meet the requirement and if so, why's it different? Argh! So now I get to see if I've got the will power to put this $500 into my Roth IRA and get taxed again eventually or, you know, fulfill my dream of drinking an entire pony keg by myself. Excuse me while I continue cursing and not being tempted into going on a sweet bender. Because I'm a grown up. Grown ups aren't tempted by ill-gotten gains. No, sir. We're strong like oxen.

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