my weakness is 30 frames per second

I wonder sometimes what life would be like without television. Then I think I should go cold turkey and see, but I never get around to pulling the plug. The world passes by while I stare stone-faced at inane sit-com antics and ads for crap I'll never buy, and I lap it up because there's nothing better to do. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Is it because I can't stand the sound of my own thoughts? The effort of entertaining myself for five minutes? What's wrong with me that I'm so hopelessly addicted?

That's it. It's over. From here on out, we go our separate ways. It'll be hard, but it's for the best... Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Gilmore Girls, MythBusters, you have to watch yourselves now. Fly far from the nest, spread your wings and don't look back.

...

Now that's it's quiet, wow, the view from the balcony is even less interesting than the tv. Do birds always make those stupid noises? What is that smell? What do I do with my eyes while I sit in front of the dark TV, drinking my delicious and tasty Diet Dr. Pepper?

I wonder if that show's on now, you know, the one with that guy doing that crazy thing he always does. What do they call it, his trademark?

Maybe I'll just nudge the remote and if it turns on, it'd be no big deal. I'll just do a quick scan, make sure I'm not missing anything. Five more minutes couldn't hurt.

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Yesterday I parked my ass on the couch and read half of Haruki Murakami's "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle." It's exactly the right book for the moment.