Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Missy, will you please help me work it?

I've got a draft of my resume that works. Or might get me work. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

In the last few days I've heard three wholly unconnected people say, "where the rubber meets the road," in business context.

I attended a 401K teleconference workshop. I didn't learn anything, except that if I made $80,000/year (which I don't), and I could go back in time three years and save twenty percent of my (fictitious) income, I could someday maybe have two million dollars in the bank at retirement age. But then I'd probably want to die anyway, because without a job or a purpose, there's no point living. Keep in mind I'm just paraphrasing. The actual message was far more subtle and conveyed entirely via bar graph.

My head is full of lists. I'm barefoot at my desk because the insect bites defy shoes. I've overly caffeinated. Sometimes I wear a headband. My cafes of the world calendar features Prague for August. I found a hotel to stay in that accepts cats for when we drive to Seattle. I moved my dentist appointment to tomorrow so insurance covers the cleaning. And maybe x-rays. My hygienist is nice and very gentle. I will miss her. I hate Excel. I'm twitching a lot because I'm sending emails to people I don't know asking them for job leads in a roundabout way. I hate networking. I'm dismal at networking. If networking were a sport, it'd be skeet shooting, because I bet I suck at that too. If networking were a vegetable, it'd be radishes or maybe celery without peanut butter. Or shredded carrots mixed with raisins. Or moldy avocadoes. Mmm, avocadoes. No wait, it's alfalfa sprouts I don't like. See, networking is like sprouts because they're both long and stringy and fall out of your sandwich.

They're exactly the same only not at all.

In a week from tomorrow, I turn 28. My mom sent me cat vitamins.

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