I was in the front row of the balcony. No obstructions. Excellent view. She was an inspirational speaker and her message was - not surprisingly - pro-conservation. Recycle. Save. Don't waste water, electricity, gas … Some stories about the chimps. Donate money and time to making the world a better place. Be an activist, make ethical decisions. All very timely and appropriate.
But because I'm damaged in the head my mind kept wandering. I thought about my time staffing the will call booth outside and how I got angry and how I'm bitter and selfish and guilty and I'm not nice enough. I don't spend my weekends removing non-native plants from prairie land. I don't clean the streams and reintroduce fish that haven't lived there for decades. Once I volunteered and read on tape for the blind and dyslexic. They may have given me a t-shirt and I may have read in a bad French accent. (Has anyone yet listened to that tape and if so, what did they think of my mispronunciation of the word duchy?) I volunteered a lot in high school. But only because I needed to put that sort of thing on my college applications. Mostly I was sent to 10K runs and fun walks to hand out water in small paper cups to the participants. And then I thought about my obsession with recycling and saving water …
Growing up in southern California over the last twenty-six years there has been a constant everlasting drought. Newsflash: it's a desert. I do the small things like only turn on the water at the necessary parts of tooth brushing and taking short showers and low pressure or something toilets and having drought resistant plants. I also lug recyclables to the center and collect my pennies.
Speaking of water, I just sprayed my cat with a water bottle because he keeps hopping on my monitor to catch a bug. It's not that sturdy to begin with. Now he's pissed.
In summation, it's late and I'm tired and I guess I'll concentrate on the "making ethical and well-informed decisions" part of the lecture. It's best to focus on one life change at a time. It'll be my part way through the year resolution. For more information on her talk and her message, Dr. Jane recommends reading her informative website.
May the force be with you.
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